Low-key Celebrations: How and Why We Avoid Holiday Chaos
The pandemic taught us the value of curtailed celebrations. This wasn’t just about protecting our family during the lockdown, but also about making life more manageable as working parents. My husband’s side of the family was big on gift exchanges and excursions; the kind of hype that creates holiday chaos and made Josh run so much errands during this season. Sure, he loved spending time with them growing up, and I respect the way they kept the family tradition alive. But with his birthday falling between Christmas and New Year, I wanted to make sure he could take all the time he needs to enjoy his special day.
When our housekeeper left, I was forced to navigate the kitchen and take charge of cooking especially during the holidays. As I became more hands-on with preparing our meals, I realized that simplifying our celebrations made life more practical and even brought us closer as a family. Josh, AK, and Knight all pitch in with their ‘holiday duties’, which is mostly picking up after me because, let’s face it—cooking can be a disaster. This team effort allowed me to focus on what mattered most: serving up the true holiday spirit.
Creating Our Own Holiday Tradition
Josh and I have come up with one strict rule in our household: we don’t overdo the holidays. And by not overdoing it, I mean we don’t splurge, invite people over, nor attend gatherings throughout our holiday break. I know it seems unorthodox considering we’re both from Catholic families. But it’s not Christmas per se that we’re trying to avoid—everything seemed to be so food-centered this time of the year, and I wanted to keep it solemn by not hyperfocusing on the material aspect of the occasion.
Every Christmas eve, we’d simply have a few nice dishes delivered, and spend the rest of the evening by being present in the moment, like we’d vote on movies to binge-watch, play board games or do karaoke. Then we do a little cooking and organizing only on New Year’s Eve. I realized that if I really want the holidays to be just about us, then I have to stop stressing over the details and be the mom who is present in family photos.
This year, I simply ordered a meat platter from Tablo and cooked our fam favorite, garlic-butter shrimp. The boys requested beef nachos for our movie marathon later in the evening, and that’s it. Our dinner still looked sumptuous despite not serving the traditional rounded fruits or putting up a prosperity bowl.
How to be present in the moment
Especially nowadays, the holiday season is often associated with splurging on gifts, elaborate decorations, and the pressure to keep up with different trends. It took me some time to realize that the true spirit of Christmas and New Year lies in creating lasting memories and deepening connections with my husband and kids.
Ask your kids what they truly want. It’s probably more convenient for others to assume that kids always want new toys or the latest gadgets. I am no exception. Josh and I (oooh especially Josh!) used to splurge on gifts and though the kids were thrilled, the feeling was short-lived because we were simply adding the same stuff to the many others we already had at home. This year, the gifts they requested may not be cheap, but it is something we have thoroughly discussed even prior to the holidays, and would definitely help them pursue their passion.
Don’t be pressured by online trends. The holidays often come with a wave of online trends and viral gift ideas, which can make anyone feel like they need to succumb to the pressure in order to keep up. I used to be caught up in this cycle; until my husband reminded me that our kids wouldn’t exactly remember how beautifully I tried to decorate our dining table, only how delectable the dishes were because I cooked them with so much love.
A modestly set home doesn’t make you less of a parent. As parents, we often feel the pressure to create picture-perfect holidays, sometimes with the notion that a perfectly arranged centerpiece or a Christmas-themed home decor would make the occasion more memorable. I don’t mean to rain on anyone’s parade—you can set up your home in any way you like. Go put up that massive Christmas tree, go hang those twinkling lights and stockings! But if you don’t have the capacity to make these happen, then it is always okay to keep things simple.
Less Chaos Leads to Deeper Connection
Since I’m actively pursuing a minimalist lifestyle, I try to be more intentional with the gifts I give my loved ones, especially my children. I believe that minimalism, when incorporated into our love language, can transform the way we express gratitude and affection. I wanted to give them meaningful gifts that truly reflect their needs and personality. Not something they would only gush over for a day or two, and eventually forget.
I aim to be frugal, but not cheap—there’s a huge difference between the two. I’m willing to spend generously on things, as long as they all hold value and serve a purpose. I started my Christmas shopping in September and had everything ready even before December arrived. This also gave me plenty of time to relax and avoid getting caught up in the holiday shopping frenzy.
For me, deliberately avoiding the holiday chaos by simplifying our celebrations has made the moments we share more meaningful. Through quality time, intentional gifts, and meals that the whole family has voted on, we’ve created a holiday atmosphere that is less about the chaos and more about connections—something that I want to pass on to my children. In 2025, we’ll continue to embrace our own family tradition that is free from the pressure to conform to holiday expectations.
What family tradition do you follow especially on holidays? Would love to read them in the comments! 💬