On Better Parenting: How Minimalism Transformed My Mental Health
There was a time when I’d have my chores wrapped up before the clock struck 9pm. Every. Single. Day. I loved sipping my coffee while basking in the glory of a clean house, and the only thing shinier than my floor was the smug look on my face. Especially the kitchen—oh I loved this space. It was my space. Until Keos came along and being a mom of three completely took away my ability to manage an organized home. It is then that minimalism became something I started to consider.
I don’t even remember the last time I was a hundred percent satisfied with the way our house looked. Sure, I do general cleaning at least once a month, but over the years, there was always an insistent desire to get rid of a lot of things and embrace a minimalist household. A desire that is easier said than done. I may be working from home, but it didn’t spare me from being constantly exhausted, so it remained an exhausted mom’s fantasy for so long.
You see, the paradox of motherhood is that you crave a clean, happiness-inducing home in order to keep you sane. Yet you can never seem to find the time or energy to keep it that way—because you’re too busy clinging to whatever sliver of sanity you have left. The chaos of motherhood often makes you run on empty cup. It’s a constant struggle to create a calm, efficient environment, all while feeling like there is never enough opportunity to make it happen.
The truth is, the contradictory nature of motherhood is beautiful, but also filled with shitty moments.
Recreating Your Home Requires Serious Discussion
We live in a three-storey house. It’s not huge, but it’s more than enough for our family of five. Right now, our priority should be updating the garage, living room, and kitchen (the first floor). So when my husband and I realized this project would take more time and effort than we expected, we sat down to map out the steps we needed to take.
But what exactly did I want? For starters, I wanted a more spacious countertop, a small but fully functional pantry corner, and so many other significant changes that only hired contractors could make happen. It turns out, to truly embrace a minimalist lifestyle, what we really need is a full renovation—not just a bit of decluttering.
We hired a few people to handle the renovation, and since I have a more flexible work setup, we decided it would be best for me to take a month-long leave so I could personally oversee the project and ensure everything runs smoothly. I manage our finances so it seemed like a no-brainer; after all, my husband works at night and rest during the day. But it still required serious consideration, as it meant we’d temporarily become a single-income household while also covering the renovation costs.
A heart-to-heart discussion with your partner can help you realize that sometimes, your stress doesn’t stem from work or raising hyperactive kids, but from being surrounded by things that no longer serve their purpose. It’s important to acknowledge that when an item or corner in your home requires constant attention, cleaning, and organizing—efforts that could be better spent with your family—it’s time to let it go. The less you have, as long as it’s truly what you need, the more intentional and fulfilling your life becomes.
Unsure how to start? Just declutter.
To jumpstart the renovation, we have decluttered by giving away boxes of clothes, shoes and toys that once took up so much space in our home. I asked my kids to pick what they wanted to keep, and make sure they would actually be of use, not tucked away and forgotten somewhere in the house. Kids usually find it more difficult to let go of things, so make sure you include them in the discussion to avoid misunderstandings. Your kids are the biggest part of your home, so when you are imposing change, of course—their feelings matter.
We also sold or donated larger furniture, and honestly, seeing the space they once occupied finally open up was a total game changer. The best part? I’m a sentimental person but I don’t regret or miss any of the things we disposed of. It’s like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
The Role of Decluttering in Minimalism
While decluttering is a vital step towards minimalism, they’re not exactly the same.
Decluttering is that small, practical step we take in order to remove unnecessary items from our home; from clearing out your closet, to organizing your kitchen or workspace. Decluttering is a tangible task that can bring immediate relief in your daily routine. It’s about letting go of the physical and mental clutter that accumulate over time, and the things that do not align with your lifestyle.
Minimalism, on the other hand, is a philosophy that extends beyond just cleaning or organizing—it’s about living with intention. It is about making thoughtful choices on how you spend your time, and where you direct your energy, which makes it an ideal lifestyle for busy parents like myself, as it helps you obtain a sustainable lifestyle and contributes to your overall well-being. When you embrace minimalism, you don’t just remove excess in your home; you prioritize what makes your life more efficient, like choosing quality over quantity and simplicity in your surroundings. Minimalism involves decluttering, and other aspects of life such as mindful consumption, and focusing on fewer but more impactful things around you.
I used to think minimalism was just a pandemic trend, but it’s far more beautiful and life-changing than that. Embracing simplicity has transformed my life as a mom. I’ve become happier and more functional because I’ve found clarity in my surroundings. With less clutter, I discovered a calmer version of myself I didn’t even know was there.
Embracing minimalism, one conscious decision at a time
For me, minimalism is about creating space—both physically and mentally—for what truly matters. It’s a deliberate way of living, a conscious decision to reduce unnecessary spending and avoid fleeting consumption trends. It’s about knowing exactly what you need and sticking to it. More importantly, it has been a way to reclaim my mental health and regain my overall stability. As I worked on letting go of non-essential possessions that ultimately caused distractions and more obligations, I got to channel my energy into things that bring me joy and fulfillment.
Transitioning into a minimalist lifestyle is a journey that takes time and patience. It’s an ongoing process for my family, and we’re still learning as we go. But I am happy that every small change we make brings more clarity and intention into our home, and the shift toward minimalism has already made life feel lighter and filled with purpose. Things feel more in tune now with who we truly are—individually and as a family.